She waited. He returned. She knew. He explained. She listened. He diagnosed. She sat. He apologized. She nodded. He asked. She accepted. He prescribed. She medicated. He cut. She woke. She screamed. She cried. She hyperventilated. She healed. He cut. She groaned. She wept. She slept. She healed. He recommended. She accepted. She attended. She puked. She bled. She wept. She returned. She puked bled wept returned. She puked bled puked bled returned.
He scanned. He explained. She wept. She laughed. She left.
She learned. She traveled. She recycled. She planned. She surfed. She remarried.
He apologized. He asked. She declined. He nodded.
She left. She waited.
Ariel Andrew is a Midwestern transplant living in the San Francisco Bay Area, where she attends San Jose State University’s MFA program in Creative Writing. She has been previously published in Scarlet Leaf Review and Number One Magazine.
WHY WE CHOSE TO PUBLISH “Remission”
In only 109 words, Ariel Andrew tells a complete and poignant story that captures the emotions of the character. The “he said/she said” format works extremely well here. Notice: all strong verbs (no “is/was”), all show and no tell, and nearly all done in two-word sentences. It’s simply superb, powerful writing.